A Family Court Lawyer’s Experience: I Was Devastated by My Case
Written by: Megan Dell
I’ve been a practicing family court lawyer for almost 15 years. And I’ve coached clients to stay focused on what matters, let go of what doesn’t, and resist the urge to fight out of fear or pain. But no matter how many cases I had handled, nothing prepared me for what it would feel like to become a litigant in Family Court myself.
This blog series isn’t just about legal strategy—it’s about lived experience. I’m writing it for people trying to survive their own separation, custody case, or post-divorce fallout. People navigating painful transitions while managing difficult realities like mental health concerns, drug or alcohol use, or domestic violence. I dealt with all of those in my own case.
Because the truth is, Family Court isn’t a cold, mechanical system. It’s where deeply human problems get filtered through procedural rules and legal frameworks. And when you’re the one receiving a document alleging you’re an unfit parent hours before taking your children trick-or-treating, standing in front of the judge and hearing hurtful, untrue allegations about yourself, or trying to explain to a Guardian ad Litem why something happened without sounding unstable or overly emotional—it doesn’t matter how smart or strong you are. It still hurts. It’s still disorienting. And it’s still hard.
The Disconnect Between Legal Advice and Emotional Reality
When I was going through it, starting in September 2024, I found that even though I understood the legal process, I had to manage the same internal chaos my clients face.
My situation involved the kinds of issues that show up frequently in South Carolina Family Court but rarely come with easy answers. Mental health diagnoses, accusations of drug and/or alcohol abuse, and domestic violence concerns all made their way into the file. There was even an investigation by DSS. Each issue came with emotional complexity and legal consequences. The court wanted facts, but what I had was a life story that couldn’t be reduced to 16 pages.
I knew what the law said. I knew how judges typically ruled. But even when represented by a family court lawyer I trusted, I had to advocate for myself while dealing with fear, grief, and protective instincts for my children. That’s a hard thing to do, even for someone trained as a family court lawyer.
What It Taught Me About My Clients
Going through Family Court myself has made me a better attorney: I gained a deeper understanding of what my clients are really experiencing.
I’ve always tried to be empathetic. But now I’m more tuned into the subtle ways fear and trauma shape someone’s thinking. When your ex is accusing you of things you didn’t do—or worse, when they did hurt you but make it seem like you’re the problem—it shakes your sense of reality. It becomes harder to trust your own judgment, and even harder to explain your truth to a court that’s often skeptical by design. Simply stopping your internal thoughts to listen to your family court attorney becomes a challenge.
I’ve also seen how slow the healing process can be. Even after the legal issues are resolved, the emotional residue lingers.
As a result, I approach every case with the goal of helping clients make good legal decisions without ignoring the human side. I believe clarity, preparation, and the right legal strategy can make a painful process more manageable—even when the underlying issues involve mental illness, substance use, or physical abuse or emotional abuse.
Why I’m Sharing This
My experience as a litigant is now a part of who I am, and it will affect the way I practice as a Family Court lawyer for the rest of my career.
My perspective can give clients a realistic picture of what to expect in Family Court. I want to normalize talking about how hard separation and litigation can be, especially with domestic violence or substance abuse involved. I can help people facing Family Court litigation to feel less shame about situations they did not necessarily choose.
Future posts will cover topics like:
- How, and when, to use a motion for ex parte relief effectively
- The process for forensic interviews of children exposed to domestic violence
- What to expect in a custody case involving allegations of substance abuse
- How criminal bond conditions can affect temporary hearings in Family Court
- What your lawyer should do before a hearing on a Motion for Temporary Relief
- How it feels to be investigated by DSS and a Guardian ad Litem
- Strategies for finding good therapists for yourself and your children
- What matters when considering reconciliation
I’m sharing my story because lawyers don’t have to be detached to be effective. I believe we can be both strategic and authentic. I believe clients are best served by someone who knows what it’s like to sit where they are.
If You’re Going Through Family Court Now
If you’re in the middle of your own family court case, and it feels overwhelming, you are not alone. Whether you’re trying to protect your kids, maintain stability, or just survive the process, you deserve clear guidance and strong advocacy.
I’ve been where you are, and I know what it takes to move forward. I can help you sort out what matters legally, what’s worth fighting for, and how to regain your footing.
Ready to Talk to a Family Court Lawyer?
If you need a family court attorney in Charleston who understands both the law and has lived experience with divorce and custody litigation, schedule a consultation with me today.
